A young mother is on call with a friend when her little one cries as if all hell broke loose, she abandons the call and rushes to tend to the child. Does it strike a Déjà vu? Well, motherhood is all about selfless care for children. If you thought so, spend a moment to remember when you wanted a break, a small respite from the constant caring. Have you felt this or are you still feeling this?
Let us accept it, motherhood can be exhausting as well as exciting. Social cues of motherhood imply that it is joyous. Joyous yes, but it is not just joyous. It has its add-ons too.
Let’s go to the start of
it all. Motherhood starts with “Matrescence” a term used by social sciences. Matrescence is
defined as “the process of becoming a mother” and includes the physiological as
well psychosocial aspects of it. It’s another phase of life ,like the
much talked about adolescence. But unlike adolescence, which is being explained
and researched in detail, matrescence
has not had its attention. We know adolescence can’t be easy. The same applies
to matrescence. During
matrescence, a woman undergoes shifts in her relationships, her attention is
now divided between her relationships and the child, there is a new identity to her along
with the pains and pleasures, there are hormonal and body changes as well, all
happening simultaneously. This transition phase needs an understanding and
acknowledgment by the mother and the world around her. I personally feel
matrescence is an opportunity to test our resilience, our positive spirit and
even to make us innovative and productive. There is no defined time period for matrescence,
and it is individual dependent. There is the social pressure to be the best and
worry for the welfare of the child. There is the guilt of feeling selfish even
if there is a momentary wanting to seek some personal space. This could lead to
stress. Research has proven that such stress and guilt could lead to postpartum
depression. If matrescence could be handled well, one can have a happy
motherhood.
Past that
stage? Even if you are past matrescence, knowing about it will help you help
new mothers.
Handling
motherhood? Your motherhood needs its
definition, space and identity.
Go ahead,
acknowledge your wants, address them judiciously, enjoy that little break. Self-indulge
guilt free. Your happiness is the first step towards your well- being and your well- being means good care for your
family. Your happiness means a lot!
I say, do it
right away for sometimes you cannot reclaim lost moments, opportunities and
even fun!!
"Matrescence,
Becoming a mother, A “New/Old” Rite de Passage" (“Matrescence, Becoming a
Mother, A “New/Old” Rite de Passage”)
De Gruyter Mouton | 1975
https://doi.org/10.1515/9783110813128.65
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